Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Label Of Infertility

This demanding world isn’t perfect but the little chunks of happiness most of us attain by the fulfillment of our never-ending prayers or by some supernatural help doesn’t seem to last long enough to truly experience them nor the feelings of thankfulness. Happiness is an emotion which usually struts away from a female’s life in Pakistan, especially if she has been brutally held responsible for being infertile.

Fertility, a feature which is acknowledged by every human as an ability bestowed upon mankind by God yet when a woman is declared sterile, it is somehow her exclusive fault. Countless women in Pakistan, during their first year of marriage, distress themselves with a pain-staking thought questioning their fertility; a question with a long wait and the answer to which -when available- will be used as a basis to make decisions of their life. But till the time comes, they need to ponder upon the possibilities which happens to be only two; either becoming a mother or sharing their so-called life partner. Such a female harbors an agonizing fear prior to her firstborn, pertaining to her mother-in-law’s utmost desire of a child and that too a boy in particular. The feelings of condolences might have been fostered by the mother-in-law, had she encountered the same issue but since that is not the case, the wife is left unconsoled.

Males, Pakistani males to be specific, do not happen to be penalized by their mothers if they actually aren’t able to reproduce, primarily because either they have a sacrificing wife who would willingly pose as if she is at fault or they have a mother who knowingly would blame her daughter-in-law as being incapable of reproducing. Furthermore, there would be no benevolent soul who could advice the head of the household to not to commit the torturous act of marrying another woman without the consent of his first wife. The oh-so-famous “Be a man, you can do anything as you please…and Islam gives you right to marry four times” statement has done enough to effectively brainwash the males of this male-dominant society. Thus, it would be safe to present a claim suggesting men at an advantage due to their purported superiority which they employ when conjuring up comebacks against their avid supporters also known as their spouses.

What position and importance of women – victim to the label of infertility – does this asinine logic constitute? I assure you, it is not a very good one. Instead of being cherished for being subservient and amiable lifetime-supporters for their husbands, sterile woman are heartlessly tormented and mercilessly accused of being unable to procreate. It’s about time; such people realize the extent to which a female’s feelings hold importance and the chances of an instance when they themselves could have suffered through the same agonizing label of being sterile.

Posted on Guppu on July 30th, 2010
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theBollywoodFan said...

I agree with this, undoubtedly. One of the questions I get asked most frequently (as a Muslim dude) is the ruling on marriage(s). It's discouraging when many don't seem to even bother to know how it originated, under what circumstances it is considerable, and what you mention about seeking permission, etc., so all that's got to be my rant of the month, really.

Glad to come across your blog, and look forward to reading so much more.


R Zaib said...

Thanks for the sincere comment. You are completely right. Some Muslims have ruined Islam's reputation to a big extent. The notion of polygamy has also been misused repeatedly which has caused others to ridicule Muslims. I hope all this vanishes or is eliminated somehow.

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