A Moronic Desire

An epitome of asininity…An embodiment of blind illiteracy…An absolute exemplification of heartlessness…All defined by a single desire – of having a male being born in the family – demonstrated by most of the residents of Pakistan. A daft so-called tradition which has victimized almost the entire Pakistani nation and isn’t being questioned considering the massive number of people posing as ardent supports privately, if not publicly.

A marital knot, tied between a strong man and a delicate woman, exhibits the initiation of a new beginning towards a supposedly prosperous life and an unbreakable commitment of being together for eternity; but what the in-laws fail to put forth is the condition suggesting dissolution of this contract, if and when the newlywed bride is unable to conceive specifically a son. Whether she is capable of reproducing or not, is an altogether different scenario at this point primarily because the mother-in-law – in particular – doesn’t cater to extrapolate on that scenario, thus heartily assumes the bride to be fertile.



The destitute woman in question, while succumbing to her purported mother – aka mother-in-law which I will refer to as the purported mother from now on – actually tries to fulfill the wish upon which her life continuously hangs. Unable to comprehend, as to why she would be held responsible if a son isn’t produced, she prays day and night in an attempt to make her newly founded family glad. As for the purported mother, she has a back-up plan in reserve; a plan which suggests her son’s second marriage if her desire isn’t brought to completion. To the utterly oblivious wife’s dismay, her supportive life partner also turns out to be a part of this atrocious scheme, no matter what the reason. Now, a notion worth-mentioning proves out to be the reaction of especially the purported mother after the birth of her grandchild. If luckily she is bestowed with a grandson, then she runs out on the streets and screams with joy and gives her blessing to her son; on the other hand, if a granddaughter is born, she endlessly blames the mother and shares her exasperating thoughts with her son. I can’t help but notice the importance of the wife – who gave birth after going through the troubles of pregnancy – in both the scenarios; she remains neglected and a mere medium of childbirth in this God-forsaken evil society.

The cause of the purported mother’s proclaimed superiority (even though she is a female herself) you may ask? There are two; one is her ability to produce a son, even if he happens to be the only child and after whose birth she became infertile, and second is her misconception pertaining to the asserted fact that the grandchild would serve to be a support for not only his parents - but also his grandparents. All other irrelevant thoughts – dealing with karma − do not matter and never will because she has a son and everything else is absolute garbage. She miserably fails to grasp the significance of having to see the face of an angelic child, let alone being blessed with a baby boy.

There is nothing more beastly and cruel than this asinine tradition of fostering desire to have sons or grandsons. Such women shouldn’t be granted with children of their own, let alone the penchant for having grandchildren. I consider it one of the major dilemmas of Pakistani society, which if eliminated can, not only lead to a powerful society of women but also can eventually halt their brutal deaths and murders, be it physically or mentally.

The Label Of Infertility

This demanding world isn’t perfect but the little chunks of happiness most of us attain by the fulfillment of our never-ending prayers or by some supernatural help doesn’t seem to last long enough to truly experience them nor the feelings of thankfulness. Happiness is an emotion which usually struts away from a female’s life in Pakistan, especially if she has been brutally held responsible for being infertile.

Fertility, a feature which is acknowledged by every human as an ability bestowed upon mankind by God yet when a woman is declared sterile, it is somehow her exclusive fault. Countless women in Pakistan, during their first year of marriage, distress themselves with a pain-staking thought questioning their fertility; a question with a long wait and the answer to which -when available- will be used as a basis to make decisions of their life. But till the time comes, they need to ponder upon the possibilities which happens to be only two; either becoming a mother or sharing their so-called life partner. Such a female harbors an agonizing fear prior to her firstborn, pertaining to her mother-in-law’s utmost desire of a child and that too a boy in particular. The feelings of condolences might have been fostered by the mother-in-law, had she encountered the same issue but since that is not the case, the wife is left unconsoled.

Males, Pakistani males to be specific, do not happen to be penalized by their mothers if they actually aren’t able to reproduce, primarily because either they have a sacrificing wife who would willingly pose as if she is at fault or they have a mother who knowingly would blame her daughter-in-law as being incapable of reproducing. Furthermore, there would be no benevolent soul who could advice the head of the household to not to commit the torturous act of marrying another woman without the consent of his first wife. The oh-so-famous “Be a man, you can do anything as you please…and Islam gives you right to marry four times” statement has done enough to effectively brainwash the males of this male-dominant society. Thus, it would be safe to present a claim suggesting men at an advantage due to their purported superiority which they employ when conjuring up comebacks against their avid supporters also known as their spouses.

What position and importance of women – victim to the label of infertility – does this asinine logic constitute? I assure you, it is not a very good one. Instead of being cherished for being subservient and amiable lifetime-supporters for their husbands, sterile woman are heartlessly tormented and mercilessly accused of being unable to procreate. It’s about time; such people realize the extent to which a female’s feelings hold importance and the chances of an instance when they themselves could have suffered through the same agonizing label of being sterile.

Posted on Guppu on July 30th, 2010
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